And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
