I hate your face
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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