could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
