I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize