all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
My vagina just clenched in fear
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
