we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I am midnight drunk by noon
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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