Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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