she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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