At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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