No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my parents said I crawled through the house
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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