I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
