It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
