The best revenge is premature balding
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
did i just pee glitter
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
