someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
