Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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