4 words: hood of his car
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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