If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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