I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
