The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
