Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
