Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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