I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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