Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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