your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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