U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
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I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
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I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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