the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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