He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
its liver damage thursday
Randomize