Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
