i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
