I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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