based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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