Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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