ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
