So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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