YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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