Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
