so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
