Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize