Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
