Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
