Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
