TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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