Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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