Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
