my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
