Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize