I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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