we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
