I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
