...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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