I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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