Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
