Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
