i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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