on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
