he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
