Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
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Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
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I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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