nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
