Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
